Look, I know there’s absolutely nothing original about this blog. In terms of broad strokes, I think the experience of mental illness is pretty much the same for everyone. The only difference between the way my illness affects me and the way your illness affects you is in the tiny little details of where, when, how, and why.
Like my friend JDS likes to say, there’s nothing new under the sun.
So really, sending these words out onto the internet is a pointless endeavour. I’m the only person guaranteed to read them. I could write them down in a journal and have exactly the same effect on the world.
Right?
Except, for some reason, I really need to send these words out, and not just keep them to myself. I need to tell this story.
Yesterday, I read Kim Fahner’s blog post about her experience with mental illness and her long journey to loving the person she is today. Over the last twenty-odd years, Kim and I have been friends, neighbours, colleagues, and rivals, and yet I never really understood that she might be going through the same sort of thing that I was experiencing.
And she really was. Wanting to walk in front of a car? She’s been there too. Eating for comfort? She’s been there too. Deep mourning after the loss of a parent? She’s been there too.
But she’s not there now.
What if Kim had kept that story to herself? What if I hadn’t read these glorious words:
So…to anyone who says that you can’t refashion yourself, that you can’t –with a bit of very hard work and focus — sculpt a new life…ignore them. It’s up to you, really, to pick up your own life and make it vibrant and beautiful.
I’ve had a rough week, after several good weeks of making correct decisions about food, exercise, and the way I talk to myself. Right now I can’t even see the dust trail from the wagon I’ve fallen off of. But reading Kim’s story gave me encouragement, and proof that a person can pull themselves through a bad patch, even a long one, if only they can love themselves enough to put up the fight.
Do I love myself? More than I used to. Will I catch up to that wagon? Yes, I will. Will I keep telling my utterly unoriginal story? Yes, I will.
I will keep telling my story because when Kim reached out with her words, she helped one person: me. If my story can help one other person, it’s worth telling. If my life can touch one other person, it’s worth living.
Tell your story, dear reader. Live your life. Our stories will intersect, and our lives will intersect, and we will get through this… together.
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Thank you! I really needed to read this right now!! <3
I’m glad that you keep sharing your story on your blog. It’s so important. It’s really the only way, too, to journey through it all, and to fight against the stigma of silence that is so prevalent in our society. Thanks for these kind words you’ve written. It helps me to know that my being vulnerable and open in my blog has a ripple effect. If we can all just make ripples…think of the changes that might come…for others.